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Funniest Football Chant



Morgan Villa has submitted the following and I agree, it’d be nice to take our minds off the window for a while;

Its been getting tense on here the last few weeks, with performances of the board, coaching staff and playing staff coming into some heated debates.

The transfer window is making me at the very least a bit uptight as it does every time it nears its close, so I thought I would post up something a little light hearted to take all of our minds off the tensions.

Having chatted to a few mates recently who support other clubs and watch their teams, we had a chat about football chants. This season I’ve not really heard any funny ones. Last year I thought the songs Joe Hart got were hilarious and fair play to him for being a good sport. I also thought it was brilliant last year when some poor bloke asked his Mrs to marry him at half time, as soon as he did the whole of Villa Park away fans included started chanting ‘You dont know what you are doing’. We also can’t forget our taking over of the Wigan home end last year.

The one that my mates said that made all of us laugh was a song sung by Utd fans at Liverpool and Everton fans ‘Feed the Scousers’ (to the tune of Do they know its christmas).

What has been the funniest chant you heard or know of from any club?

40 thought on “Funniest Football Chant”

  1. Yr teeth are offside to the cheating diving twat Suarez was very funny…

  2. I heard the Oldham fans singing their take on the Human League’s classic, in a cup match against Liverpool:

    ” Don’t you want me baby,
    Don’t you want me Ol-dham”

    Certainly the most pathetic you may ever hear. But at that its unforgettable .

  3. West Hams fans to Jonjo Shelvey:

    ‘He’s coming for you…he’s coming for you’
    ‘Harry Potter…he’s coming for you’

        1. I must be the only one on the planet that’s never seen harry potter. I just do get it. Watched a bit if the first one years ago and switched off so boring. Heard of voldermont but no idea what he looks like

    1. If I had the wings of a sparrow
      If I had the arse of a crow
      I’d fly over Bham city
      And shit on the bastards below 🙂

  4. Darren Anderton coming over to our away end at Spurs and a spontaneous ‘Does your Doctor know you’re here ?’.

    Even he acknowledged it with a thumbs up and a smile.

    The Carson Yeung ate my dog one was pretty funny too I thought.

    1. Stoke fans a couple of years ago to Gareth bale “you look like a chimp, garage bale u look like a chimp” that tickled me.

    2. Park, Park
      where ever you may be
      you eat dogs in your country
      but to be fair to you
      your not scouse
      they eat rats in their council house.

    1. 10 Alsatians walking down the street,
      10 Alsatians walking down the street,
      and if Ji-Sung Park should fancy one to eat
      there’ll be 9 Alsatians walking down the street.

      1. Sol Sol wherever you may be, not long now til………no wait you can’t sing that especially if you are a spurs supporter!!!!

      2. and also after a Blues player nearly ended Arsenal player Eduardo’s career and took his leg off……we than played Arsenal at the Emirates/…..

        Eduardo ohhhhhhhhh
        Eduardo ohhhhhhhhh
        He used to have silkily skills
        Now he walks like Heather Mills
        Eduardo ohhhhhhhhh

  5. My favourite was when Chelsea fans sang to one of the Nevilles (Phil I think) to the tune of “you’ll Never walk Alone”
    Neville, Neville,
    You’re a c**t, you’re a c**t
    And you’ll always be a “c**t”
    You’ll always be a “c**t)

    Crude but very funny as it was so clear on Sky and the presenters had to ignore it.

    1. I thought the Chelsea fans on Sunday had a good one. When they got the third v utd they sung “we want you to stay, we want u to stay, David Moyes we want you to stay” lol

  6. He got bit by a shark
    He got bit by a shark
    Carlos tevez
    He got bit by a shark.
    When he last played for man city at villa park. Quality

    1. Ha ha. Sung to Adams family. “Their father is their brother, their sister is their mother, they like to fuck each other the Neville family” ! Liverpool v utd lol

  7. The holte in the 70’s to Stan Bowles when his misses fucked off –
    where’s your wife gone where’s your wife gone, where’s your wife gone Stanley Bowles?
    Where’s the milkman where’s the milkman where’s the milkman Stanley Bowles?

    1. Ha ha I remember that. And Charlie George, Charlie George, what a wanker, what a wanker lol.

      Asa Hartford man city, there’s a hole in your heart dear Asa, dear Asa, there’s a hole in your heart dear Asa a hole. Awful!!

      Malcolm McDonald v arsenal, intercourse, inter course he’s shagging the arse of his horse lol.

      To Liverpool fans in early 8o to ynwa song, “sign on, sign on with a pen in your hand, and ul never get a job, you’ll never get a job sign on ‘

        1. Remember the Trevor Francis song to my mammy?

          Francis oh oh oh Francis
          I’d walk a mile and a bit to rub his face in the shit oh Fraaancis.

          Sung to blue noses in the 70s

          1. Or when he went to forest –
            Francis oh oh oh Francis
            You walked walk a mile and a bit to rub your face in the shit
            Oooh Fraaancis.

  8. Hey BWS, let’s see how many member this one, Nice one Cyril , nice one son, nice one Cyril let’s have another one. You know who so do I , just wonder how many do.

      1. Correct give that man a prize, poor man died in 1991 age 47, but was Spurs tune for years, we have one think its a major song that other teams sing to us ever time they play. I just smile when sang because it means they are thinking of us. 🙂

    1. Cyril Knowles, class act as cool as a cucumber.
      Remember him taking the ball down on his chest on the goal line and then dribbling it out the box.
      Quality.

  9. one of the funniest was we used to sing”Alex Alex cropely” and after that horror tackle at villa park the baggies started singing “Alex Alex cant walk properly”

  10. another one was down at the blues ground the news in the mail was that Francis wanted a transfer so the chant started Francis wants a transfer Francis wants a transfer na na na naa as it tailed of there was a hopeless through ball to him that missed by half the pitch and the chant carried on we don’t fucking blame we don’t fucking blame him
    na na na naa

  11. “Your supposed to be in jail” to harry redknapp and van persie

    I also quite liked the villa away fans singing “lets pretend we’ve scored a goal” on youtube worth a watch.

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